Hello
My name is Zhushen
19 year old kid
This is who I am
19 years of walking forward
Zhushen always drove himself back to the pain
Living in the past
Reflecting on who he was
Taking daily walks to stare at puddles of insecurities
This became my daily routine
19 years of walking forward
Staring at the mirror
I questioned my very existence
With no family
Only mother and father
People who just physically
Took care of me only to
Emotionally tear down my childhood
To stab me with “You’re not doing enough”
19 years of walking forward
With no mom or dad
He lived in his room
Lived inside his cage
Lost within his heart
Mentally separated from his head
His thoughts became the dark
His silence barked so loud
Only suicide could be heard
19 years of walking forward
He carried this trauma
This wound with him
19 years of walking forward
He left pieces of himself behind
Lost who he was
Broke himself
Only to find someone new
Only to find
Z
The small piece of me
The beginning of the name
Zhushen
The beginning of Zhu poetry
The beginning of the 19 years walking back
Good bye
Zhushen
19 years of walking back
To accept the past
Embrace the failures
To start noticing the positivity
19 years of walking forward
Poetry saved me
