One of my goals this year is to
Start looking up
A lot of my life
I looked down at myself
I asked myself why
Why am I like this
Why can’t I be like them
Why can’t I fit in
Why can’t I be comfortable with who I am
These questions led me
To live in the dark,
Hiding from myself
I was never able to feel comfortable
Socializing
Enjoying
Laughing
Feeling
A lot of good moments drowned in the dark
Never did they stay in my mind
The moment I got
“Home”
Was the same moment
I had to let go of everything I went through for the day
To fight what was ahead through the night
I could call these battles
Demons
Anxiety
Depression or even
Trauma
But I think the right word is
Myself
Never proud of myself
Always laughing at myself
Always being negative about myself
2022 is where I will make it one of my goals
To start looking up and to start
Being more positive with myself and
Everyone around me
In 2022
I will do more things to better myself
Because being zhu wasn’t enough in 2021
Embracing zhu wasn’t enough in 2020
Growing up wasn’t enough in 2019
It’s finding my trauma in 2018
Realizing how
I’ve been living in my room
Since 1999 to 2017
I need to stop going back to the same place that hurt me
Even if that means
Leaving behind people who are supposed to be the closest to me
After reflecting on my poetry,
I realized how sad and dark my life has been
I realized that I had not appreciated the better moments in life
I realized 2022 is going to be a year,
where I will just be me
2022
I will be reflecting heavily on the positivity
2022
I will be taking more photography to better tell my story
2022
I will try to make a podcast and see where that will take me
2022
I will try to stream live poetry
2022
I will be a consistent version of me
Striving to not let the little things bother me
Knowing there are bigger things ahead and
I am not ready to let go of me
2022 zhupoetry
Let’s bring out the peace from the broken pieces of my heart and
Turn it into poetry
